Mutual Understanding

I use mutual understanding as I’ve found policies don’t work. Mutual understanding is about your privacy, a paradigm, and addressing the cliches that have derailed previous sessions. Ask if I need to elaborate.

The number 1 cliche is not being completely honest and open with each other before, during, and after the session. What starts out as something simple such as a misunderstanding festers and grows into a big issue afterwards. Then only to have it be compounded when she vents to her husband/boyfriend. If there is something bothering you, I want and need to know. Please let me be the first to know. I promise to take you seriously.

There is more to my idealism then producing the “perfect women’s portrait”. It's the paradigm of what I call "I did it" It’s “would have”, “could have”, and “should have” can never come close to the dignity of “I did it!” 

When I was in my 20’s, I earned my Navy aircrew wings. Anyone that knows the process knows there are some unwritten tests. What they want to know is, do I have the courage to do what I need to do? Will I leave my buddy’s for dead to save my own skin?  The day I put my wings on was the day no one could call me a coward. Where as being seen as a hero is not important, not being seen as weak or a coward is. I have an issue with the “chicken hawks”.  The ones that was too chicken to wear the uniform yet afterward their all hawk. They try to play the hero and fool everyone by down grading what I’ve and others achieved and owning a flight jacket.

What many women don’t realize is they have their own version of the “chicken hawk”. They will try to convince you, you’re not worthy. Since they don’t have what it takes to work with me, they’re dangerous. To let someone even imply I'm something other than a honest hard working professional is enough to open the lid of the Pandora's box.

When I was earning my wings, I went through as part of a group or team. It was the big tough guys, the ones that didn't’t need anyone that failed. The ones that were smart enough to realize we all have a weak spot, passed.  Even Superman is afraid of kryptonite. We gave each other the support we needed to succeed.  This paradigm is so ingrained in me I found myself extending it to my clients.

I have the highest respect for my clients. They did it!!! So can you. What is your kryptonite? Just tell me, I’m pulling for you.

The process involves being undressed; however it is not about nudity. Since you have full control over who sees what, it comes down to being undressed in front of me.

Take head shots for example, a portrait taken from the shoulders up. I noticed a sharp distinction between those taken topless and those that weren’t. There was a lot more confidence and dramatic quality to the ones taken topless. Perhaps the best way of putting it is, once going through the threshold, the big to do is all over with. She can then relax and stay focused on the task at hand. She has more confidence in herself and it shows.

Confidence is the number one beauty secret. It’s the difference between a so-so image and a knock out one and why I'm willing to go to such great lengths to get it. Also, remember, I can take care of all those things that bother you.

A good question to ask yourself is What’s more important or what are you focusing on? Is it the art or the nudity? If it’s the art, then I can give you the support you need to succeed.  There’s nothing I can do if it’s the nudity.

As stated in the conclusion, apprehension is normal. We can give into it or we can overcome it. This is for the women that want to overcome it. I've yet to find a way to satisfy everyone. If it's the nudity, its best we don’t work with each other and please don’t try to find a way to work around it as it only causes problems in the end.

As a husband I tend to photograph for the husband. I strive to produce images that pull at his heart strings. We try to tap into his emotion. For a guy, much of this emotion is sub conscious or is hard to see, but it’s there. While we’re striving to pull at his heart strings we also have to conceder chances are he is your protector. He may try to talk you out of it thinking he is protecting you. Handle it the way you want to. However, I need you to take responsibility for it.

Before I used the phrase “I’ve yet to find an article of clothing that made a woman prettier then she is”. I said it was because “A woman is created by God”. However, “Only God knows why” more accurately describes it.  I don’t care if we express it in different ways as long as we are on the same thought process. If we are not, you will always be second guessing my intentions and even your own. In that case, all of my support will be misinterpreted. If necessary take the extra time and look at photographs in fashion magazines and art work to draw to your own conclusion.

Working with you is not that complicated. The general idea is at the beginning of the session I normally start you off with something like a tube top. Once we get going, since you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, I don’t treat you as if you do. At that point I’ll ask “If you could …” When you do is the point when all the tension disappears. All I’m really asking of you is to try. I’ve yet to have anyone fail that honestly tried.

On a personal note: It’s the ones that "did it" that truly love my work. At one point I almost thought of playing it safe. It was my clients that rallied around me and gave me the strength to continue. I realized then I gave them much more then just images. Giving them the experience of a life time and afterwards, seeing the expressions on their face, when they view their images for the first time, has been my greatest reward.  I never want to give that up.

The rest is straight forward.

• The woman in front of the camera is always the client.
• We photograph at the session and edit afterwards.
• She is there on her own free will without pressure from me or anyone else.
• All photo processing is done in house.
• It is expected that we will show each other dignity and respect at all times.
• As it would be inappropriate to involve my wife, it’s also inappropriate to involve her husband/boyfriend in the process or session.
• Must be 18 years or older
• No drugs or alcohol allowed.

Mutual understanding gives her the ability to be free at the session.  It also gives me the ability to give her the support she needs. What’s written here gives us a frame work or a starting point when we talk.